Dealing with your inlaws has just begun, I’m sure you have your issues, not everyone gets along with their new extended families. Your wedding day shouldn’t be stressful, however, they have their ideas and you have yours and sometimes they don’t agree. What is a couple to do? Well first off remember Don’t fight about it. Most reasonable people will, if you explain to them what you want and why, come around to seeing your way or at least explain their point of view. Getting the issues you know you will have out in the open early is a very good idea so that on your wedding day everyone agrees on how things will take place.
The question on some items is should you give in? Well the answer is YES and NO! If you give in on some smaller things then the major things you WIN will not be as big of a loss for the inlaws. Believe it or not everyone wants what they think is best for you on your big day. You don’t want a disagreement on your wedding day. People have a need to be needed, you might find that you can create a need for you inlaws that just “HAVE TO HELP!” You might put someone in charge of picking up the tuxes, or dealing with the florist, or helping the cake person making sure the cake goes where it needs to go and is how you want it.
One good piece of advice for you and your soon to be spouse it do discuss your feelings and know what your true limits are. For example and this is silly I know, but know that you can not tell her father he can’t walk her down the isle. Okay that was never a real disagreement with a couple, but as long as I mentioned that, another issue to consider is who does walk you down the isle if you have divorced parents.
Along with divorced families comes a whole separate set of problems, we see it at picture time but it’s there for every thing. Where do you sit the new spouses, who dance with the bride or groom first. I like to see these extended families come together for this one day and get along although it doesn’t always happen. There was a reason for them to separate and some people just don’t want to be close to someone they can’t stand to be around. Inform your Photographer and DJ or these issues so they know how to handle the “Parent Issue”
With a little thought to how people feel you can make your day a day to remember (in a good day) for everyone involved.
The question on some items is should you give in? Well the answer is YES and NO! If you give in on some smaller things then the major things you WIN will not be as big of a loss for the inlaws. Believe it or not everyone wants what they think is best for you on your big day. You don’t want a disagreement on your wedding day. People have a need to be needed, you might find that you can create a need for you inlaws that just “HAVE TO HELP!” You might put someone in charge of picking up the tuxes, or dealing with the florist, or helping the cake person making sure the cake goes where it needs to go and is how you want it.
One good piece of advice for you and your soon to be spouse it do discuss your feelings and know what your true limits are. For example and this is silly I know, but know that you can not tell her father he can’t walk her down the isle. Okay that was never a real disagreement with a couple, but as long as I mentioned that, another issue to consider is who does walk you down the isle if you have divorced parents.
Along with divorced families comes a whole separate set of problems, we see it at picture time but it’s there for every thing. Where do you sit the new spouses, who dance with the bride or groom first. I like to see these extended families come together for this one day and get along although it doesn’t always happen. There was a reason for them to separate and some people just don’t want to be close to someone they can’t stand to be around. Inform your Photographer and DJ or these issues so they know how to handle the “Parent Issue”
With a little thought to how people feel you can make your day a day to remember (in a good day) for everyone involved.
Btw: I normally do a people picture here... I wasn't going to touch adding a person to this one..
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